Dear Burgler(s)

You came into my house Monday afternoon. Through my bedroom window. I was not home, but if I were you would not have been psyched with what I would have done to you.

Among other things, you took my iMac, my laptop and my camera (pictured). These were all really nice things. They're also replaceable - unlike your face if I ever see you in my neighborhood again. But what isn't replaceable are the photos you also took from me. Photos...memories that I'll never get back. Memories of mine that I'll never be able to share with family or friends. You took my creative kit and without such I am unable to participate in one of my most favorite hobbies, that of photography, and sharing it with whomever cares to look at how I see things.

You took bits of my soul. And my bath towel (which was probably used to cover up the iMac). I wiped my ass with that bath towel you shits. Now it's all over my iMac....or whoever else owns it now after purchasing it at a pawn shop.

You left no fingerprints for the cops to trace. But you scattered bits and pieces of dirt all over my bed when you came in through my window. Thanks. Assholes. You tore apart my roommate's room - but left all his cool shit. WTF? Not good enough for you?

You're off running around with a cool, fast, coupla' hundred bucks in your pocket to float you 'till your next job. Meanwhile I've had to turn parts of my life completely upside down, putting aside fun things and other things I'd rather be doing in order to deal with the cops, insurance and more or less not being able to do so many things that I love.

There are multitudes of things I would enjoy doing and saying to you. Many of which would land me behind bars. But unlike you, I'm going to take the high road. I'm not going to break into your house (if you live in one) and I'm not going to steal your shit (if you have any). No. Rather, a suggestion....

There's a place for you. A place that will gladly open it's arms and welcome you in. A place where you can rot. A place where you think it's cool but when you open your eyes you realize it's really not. No, it's not hell. It's a place called Boulder*. Boulder, CO; and considering the prospective clientele of that area, you'll probably do very well there. I suggest using some of that stolen money you 'earned' after stealing my property to help pay your way in getting there.

*Author's note: nothing personal to friends or friends of friends who are from or currently reside there.